Respect vs Respect
This has been said countless times.
In fact, I see it in my mental health related Instagram feed every now and then.
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”.
And sometimes people who are used to be treated like an authority say “if you won't respect me I won't respect you” and they mean “if you don't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person”.
And they think they're being fair but they aren't and it's not okay.
– Source unknown
It is put so well that, when I read this the first time, it blew my mind.
What I would add is that “respect” means to me “treating someone as they want to be treated”.
I do this with every new person I meet, and with people I regularly interact with. Especially when I'm in a position where I think someone could see me as an authority, for example at work.
(Perhaps I'll write about why I don't care about the “Senior” and “Junior” prefixes in job titles in another post.)
And I wish I had the strength to show this post to people who don't treat me how I'd like to be treated: as a person, as an adult, as someone with a different character.
People who say “You don't let me tell you anything anymore” just because I say “I don't agree” or “I want to do it differently”, and who then say: “I don't want to talk to you” when I want to talk about it to align our understandings of each other.
The older I get, the more my feelings change in this regard. I used to feel crushed and miserable for weeks, even months, when a situation like this occurred.
This is now changing the more often it happens. I'm getting increasingly angry. At them, and at myself for letting it happen although I shouldn't because I can't and don't want to cut them off.
In a way, I still feel miserable. I don't seem to be able to change this conflict and development, and I'm afraid that they will cut me off because of it.